ati's Game Review "School"

Hey, so i just want to help you out Xman321. I'll take your first (and yet last) review, and help you out with the things i think you've done wrong. (That maximum 2 or 3 things.) Now, take these as you wish. And what i will say, i don't say because i didn't like the review. (actually, i laughed. I don't laugh that much.) Now i shall take your review, slice it into pieces, and point out what i don't like. (again, don't expect a list of 300 points.)

Also, if think that i'm and ass after reading the "bad" part of this thing, read into the "good" part, then go back to the "bad". I don't try to be an ass, i just happen to be one...

(P.S.:Sorry, i had to use Marilyn's pink while copying the review.)





Now, let's start at the introduction.





Now, this is the only major problem i see. All of the others you'll see here are minor problems, but this one isn't. Then again, this is your first review (as i know) so don't take it as if i would say that you had all the time in the world to master the introduction.

Back where i was, the only bad thing i can see here is the introduction of Tron. (As said by others on FOS.) If you wanted to start with her talking into the review in the first "episode" of your review "show", this wasn't the best choice of words. I would've either re-worded it (i will not give you an example. You know what kind of character you want to make out of her.), or put her appearing in a later point of the review.

I'll give you the shit first, then say what i liked about the review. You can be sure that the latter will have more things in it.

Anyways, let's move to the first section, which you decided to be "Story".







I really had to search for something wrong. All i found "wrong" by any means, is the formatting of the review. It's good to see back what i said in this very thread, but you forgot one thing, making lines so people can see where one section starts, and where it ends. Now, you could fix this by leaving 2-3 lines free, and then writing the next section. So honestly, this isn't anything major. It's hardly minor. Also, add a section point counter thingy, so we can see why you gave the game what you did in the end. That's pretty minor too.

Second section; "Gameplay".







I can't say more bad things about this, than what i already did above. So... i guess we'll talk about this in the good things part of this.





I can't really say anything bad. I will say why in a bit.





Again, nothing bad. I like your scale. It made me laugh. Over all, anything bad about this is the font color of the scale. Even though it's said by Tron, i think it shold have its' own colors. Then again, this is just my personal opinion.


Now to point out everything i liked:

Introduction:

I liked how it cut to the point. It's not all those stories and everything. It's straight to the point.

What he's trying to say is that it's refreshing, after all of the text walls he sees when he writes his reviews. Right, mate?

And NOW, you show up? You know what? Forget it..

(Note:Give Tron some better backstory. The introduction is there for you to tell the people why is she exactly in the review. Just you finding her isn't enough. For this to be believable, we need to know the How it happened. Where it happened. Etc.)


Story:

You tell people why you think that the story of the game fits to the franchise, why you think that it's good, and who and why is joining the group of playable characters. It's everything the section needs. If you want, add some spice to it, but after all, it's still edible without it.

Gameplay:

Again, everything it needs. And you even talk about how you are at the game. Making this reader/writer connection is important. And you did it right. To the rite. Now to the left, to the left. Skyrim Shuffle. Skyrim Shuffle.

*Jack slaps ati*

Whoa, what happened?

You started Skyrim Shuffling. Again.

And do you... ah, we'll have a talk about this later. Let's just continue helping Xman out.


Sound:

You didn't really do this right. I mean, not to be an ass, at all. I'm just saying that if you like the soundtrack, you should still "rate it fairly". And by rating it fairly, i mean saying the name of your favorite track if you know it, talking not just about the music, but the sounds. Things such as the sounds of running. Then again, you still made a good point, by saying that it is good. And that's a good first step.

Final Thoughs:

Again, i like your scale. The rating's fair. Maybe add a cast section in the end of the review. But you don't really need it, so meh.


You did good, after all. You had a few problems, but you just started, so you still have to learn. (that, what? 3-4 things i mentioned? They can be fixed from a day to another.)

Don't let the tings the guys at FOS said, fool you. I liked the review. You didn't start it right, so what? You don't need to abandon this because of a bad start. If you fix the things i said, and maybe make it longer, if you want, i think that you could bring this plane back up. And i would like to read the next "part".