Game Reviews Thread

This is my review of Battleblock Theatre. But i don't want to blocks in a threatre.
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Story: (MAJOR SPOILERS trough whole review)

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You and your friends were invited to a party on a boat, by everyone's best friend, Hatty Hattington. Hatty and your other friends get captured, after the shipwreck. It's your journey, to save Hatty, and all of your friends. But in the end, when you do so, Hatty remains an emotionless pickle.

Now, i think this is still a better story than"go save the princess who's always in another castle, from the giant lizard-dragon-turtle thing"
Now let's go.. But Hungarian growing facial heared boy... -man. Isn't there something you forgot? Well yes, i forgot to stay sane... Not that. Aren't you forgeting about a companion that's always there? Again, i'm currently not in my sane state of mind. That's why you're here. I'm not talking about myself. I'm talking about a companion in-game. Oh, so him? Yes, him. Okay, so there's an announcer that will make you go crazy... this whole game will make you go crazy... i mean, just look at me. I'm talking to myself! I can still hear you. Well no Russo Sherlock... Anyways, with that being over, let's go.. Wait a minute! WHAT THE HELL IS IT? Can i say it? *sigh* okay, fine. You say it. Let's go to the ratings!

+Good story
+Good twist in the end
-You literally go insane, for nothing. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. Nothing. At least now you have a friend Just shut up already... wow, i'm annoying.
7/10

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Gameplay:

The controls are easy to learn, the bonus modes are a pain in the donkey, (especially vs CPU), and you will rage. A lot. Now ratings.
+As said before, easy to learn controls
+Cool minigames
-The CPU is an IDK5IDC.
7/10

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Graphics:

+Good graphs, if you like cartoon-like graphics.
10/10

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Soundtrack:

It's good. Especially the time trials'. Do i even need to ratings. 
+Catchy tunes
+Good sound effects
-can get old
7/10

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The Struggle/Difficulty:

THE STRUGGLE WAS NEVER THIS REAL! And i liked me some good platforming action. Did i get it? Yes. Were there annyoning levels? Ask "The Vault: Final Level 2-2". (this means yes)
Now, i may've nearly rage quit the game, but i didn't. Why? Because i expected that i'll save Hatty, and everything's going to be alright. And what did i get for the pain and suffering? This guy.. Hello. i mean, if i can't put up with only one me, then a second crazier personality will definietly help... Hey, don't talk about me like that. I hear everything. Well, you don't say. Could we just go to the ratings please?

+A very challenging game that sucks you in, and only let's go when you want to kill every one of the level designers...
-The "I want to kill all of the level designers" feeling isn't natural.

5/10

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Level Design:

Pure. Genius. Man, you've gone apeshit crazy. Weren't you just saying that you wanted to kill the level designers? Yes. I "wanted". But after all, what they've made is pure genius. Even if it's being annoying. Ratings, please.
10/10

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Currency:

Gems and Yarns. These are the two things you want to get. There are 7(sometimes 6) gems in a level, and only one yarn. You can buy your friends (or prisoners if you ask the game) with gems (10 at first, 15 after a while.) and you can buy a weapon with 5 yarns. It's simple. I didn't find anything bad in it. Ratings.
10/10

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Accesories/Characters that will help you/will be against you:

For accessories, we got the already said weapons, wings, a helicopter backpack, and a jetpack. A duck, a pig, and (if you get that weapon,then) a frog will help you on your journey. While the cat-enemies, the robot, the alien cat, and the hungry beast will be your enemy. (just naming that few, you can actually kill.)
+Good helping characters. The duck helped my a lot. It's pretty retarded, but if you help him to make his way to a destination, he will be your second best friend. (after the pig)
+Good villains
-The robot only stays dead for a few moments.
7/10

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Completionist Bonus:

Avatar clothes. I like 'em, but still nothing game changing.
7/10
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Multiplayer:
I don't have friends to play the game with. Couldn't try.
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And now: Marylin, the female Merlin:

And now i shall read the glitches. Let me see... Does she have... you know.. some kind of mental problem? Honestly, we're talking? You are in my head..
I found it! If can make it properly, you can jump on edges of death traps without being killed. E.g.: Spikes, Lasers.

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Okay, thanks Marylin. And now, Conclusion:
The game is good. If you want a game that's like the old platformer games, this is a must have. 7/10
And this get's my completionist rating of: Try it

-------------------------Completionist-o-Meter------------------------------------
                                         ˇ
          Complete it, Play it, Try it, Rage it, Kick it, Burn it, Send it to JoWood
                                         ^
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If i missed something, just tell me, i'll update the review.

Cast:
ati "The Hero" - White
aTH (Crazy personality) - Green
Marilyn - Pink

Honestly? This is my worst review. I wrote it when i was angry, making it so short, that a puppy is longer than it.

That's short!? Good on ya to keep the emotions aside.

I guess, i'll re-write the review...

Re-wrote the review.

Oh no worries I beat the game and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I know, I have a condition called not acknowledging jokes, it's a real burden.

Yeah I completely agree and kenway ahh the pirate dude..yeah Infamous 2 was a sad one on both ends.

Haha my issue was I always tried to kill all of them soo I didn't need to run. The ending was interesting but understandable to me at least.

This is my review of Tekken Tag Tournament 2! (A.K.A. Yaoi fighter 2014!)

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Story:

There's no such thing. And now i'm asking you. Is this even a problem? I mean, this isn't evena canon Tekken game. Why would there be a story? You still got ending cutscenes, though



+Got most of the story modes of any other Tekken games.

-No real story.

5/10

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Roster:



+Everyone, ever in a Tekken game. (well, excluding Tetsujin.)

10/10



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Music:



+Good soundtrack. My personal favorite is the Moonlight Wilderness theme.

+You can add songs from your hard drive, so if you don't like a song, just change it.

-TOO MANY MUSIC THAT SOUNDS THE SAME! HOW CAN YOU MAKE SO MANY OF THESE?

7/10

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Gameplay:



If you already played a Tekken game, it's the same. If not, then let me explain it to you. With one of the buttons (X/A, 0/B, Triangle/Y, or Square/X) you can use one of the limbs of the character(s) you're playing as. Now, you use the D-pad/ Analog stick to move. And you use these, and the D-pad/stick to make combos. The AI is hard as hell. And i have never experienced lag, offline.

+Good 'ol Tekken controls.

+Good AI

10/10



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And now, it's my turn. Oh, not you again. I thought i got away from you. Nope. Not happenin'. Also, you're kicked for the rest of the review. Yeah. I'd like to see that happening... I just need your hands.



So. With that out of the way. NEXT SECTION!


Multiplayer:


If you have friends you can play this game with, then you'll like it. If not, get ready for FREAKING SPAMMERS EVERYWHERE!

+Good "multi" if you have friends

-Don't even TRY it if you don't want to meet a spammer at least once per hour.
5/Puppies!... Do you mean 5/10? Aren't you supposed to be knocked out?


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"Whoopty-freaking" Creation modes:



+It's pretty great, actually.

10 Bah Gawds/110 MR.Sockos ... Okay, you're really going to do it like this? Really? You can take my review, but at least use real ratings.

Okay, okay. It's 10/10


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The Struggle: (Note: Completion bonus is included in the Struggle. Let's see if anyone can find it.)

Yes, there's a lot. Then you fight the boss who's Jun Kazama... and that's it, really. Aren't you forgetting something? Oh yeah. You get an ending movie. That's it.
+ Pretty challenging game

-The struggle doesn't worth it

5/10

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(And now:) Marilyn, the female Merlin:

I don't see any glitches, just the Russian roulette blocking system, where there are times it forgets to block when you press the button... I guess my work is don it this review.



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Conclusion:

It's a very fun fighting game. With good character, and easy*to-learn controls... Jack? (We give this game a Completionist rating of: Play it!)

And i give this game the normal rating of: 6.9/10



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-------------------------------Completionist-o-Meter--------------------------------


                                   ˇ
             Complete it!, Play it!, Try it!, Rage it!, Kick it!, Burn it!,Send it to JoWood!


                                   ^
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If i missed anything, then contact me, and i'll update the review. Also, feedback would be appreciated.



Cast:

ati "The Hero" - White

Jack Williams (formerly known as "aTH crazy personality") - Green

Marilyn - Pink

This is my review of Smackdow... BAH GAWD KING ... what the hell are you doing? Your crazy nickname is supposed to be said after i say the game's real name... Jack, you're an idiot. Anyways, this is my review of Smackdown! vs RAW 2011! BAH GAWD KING! SLOBBERKNOCKER!



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Story (moved to end of review)



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Gameplay:

The controls are the best i know in any wrestling game. Every button is used, and the controls of the game are trans-gen consoled. The controls on PS2 and Xbox were nearly same.



+Good, understandable, and easy-to-learn controls.

10/SLOBBERKNOCKER! ... no. It's 10/10.



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The Struggle:



Do you want me to say it? No. It's my turn ...i wasn't talking to you in the first place.. So, the difficulty can be challenging, and thank TH-went out of business, you can adjust the difficulty to your taste.
When did you became.. so.. sane? Haha! Got you! SLOBBERKNOCKER KING! Ratings... please... before i kill him... me... i'm confused as hell.



+Good, and adjustable difficulty level.

-sometimes it can be too easy, and you have to turn it up, but then it's too hard. There's no middle without spending some time you could use to actually play the game.

5/10



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Soundtrack:

Import from hard drive. You will not find a lot of good songs, and if you do, it'll get spammed on the title screen and you'll get sick of it.

-Read above.

+You CAN import your songs from the hard drive, though.

+Good sound effects.

-KING AND COLE! KIND AND COLE SAYING THE SAME LINES OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND AGAIN ANG AGAIN ANG AGAIN. Man, sometimes i feel like i'm in The Spoon Killer.

5/10



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Visuals:

I'm biased towards saying that it looks good it looks better than 2K14, that's for sure. and it does look pretty good, but i can't really tell you why. It's just... play the PS2 version for a month, then the Xbox 360 version, and you'll see what i'm talking about.

6.5/10



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Story:

I'm going to rate the real superstars' RTWM a little short, so my brain doesn't get burnt out until i get to the VS Taker one.



Cena RTWM:

+SuperCena

-SuperCena

5/10



Chris Jericho:

+Be an asshole. Really, it's WWE GTA!

-Get beaten to death by Triple H

+Beat Triple H to death

7/10



Christian:

+Get your opportunity of a lifetime, and become either WHC or WWE champ. Then lose it to Randy Orton and become a jobber for rest of your life. Or well, this is how real life went.
10/10



Rey Mysterio:

Get hit by Swagger's car, go have a knee surgery, and come back after a year so you can get injured again ... no, that's not how the story goes...


+Probably this is the most branching RTWM in this game.

-Really? Evan freaking Bourne and Jack Swagger? And if you choose so, you become a team with RVD? What is this story centered around, stoners?

5/10



VS Underrtakerr:

I burnt out... take the wheel, Jack...

So, in this RTWM, your CAW (or Kofi Jobston, Job Ziggler, R-Job, or Job Morrison) wants to take on The Underrtakerr. But first he has to go through a lot. From fighting with Vladimir Rusevlov, to fighting with 'Taker's druids, then fighting Taker hismelf. If you defeat him, good for you. If not, welcome to the druids.
What did i miss? Nothing. We're going to the raitngs.

+Prety good story, hands down.

-Ending is pretty lame. It would be good, if you wouldn't have to fight through all of that...

+Still, Taker respects you. So i guess it's a win-win situation.

7/10



All RTWMs combined:6.9/10



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Completionist Bonus:

Characters, music, moves. Everything you want, to be fair.

10/10

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And now: Marilyn, the female Merlin:

Just drop the enemy on the ladders. 'Nuff said.



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Conclusion.:

It's a pretty good game. I don't have that much bad, to say about it. I give this game 7.3/10.

And i give it my Completionist rating of: Play it!



---------------------------------Completionist-o-Meter--------------------------------------

                      ˇ

Complete it! Play it! Try it! Rage it! Kick it! Burn it! Send it to JoWood!

                      ^

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Cast:

ati "The Hero" - White

Jack Williams - Green

Marilyn - Pink